And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
