i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
