How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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