Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
