if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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