If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
pray to the hookup gods
You are a genius and a whore.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
