Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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