Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
