i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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