My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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