so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
