My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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