You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
