I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
