So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
