even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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