yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
