I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
