I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
