Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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