I feel like I'm in dance class right now
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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