Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
