I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
you never un-have a 4some
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
