I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
