so that wasnt chicken after all
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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