I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
