FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
