Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
