She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
