READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
