Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
