He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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