Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
