So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
