real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
