Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
