we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
