I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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