You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
