You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
