tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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