I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
