oh god the rape fog is back!
I cannot find my penis.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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