The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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