So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Randomize
