he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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