he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
