I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
