Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
