this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
